I Wanna Cuddle!

26 Jan 2023 

“Wanna cuddle mummy” - I’m hearing this from my 2 year old so often at the moment, I’m becoming desensitised to it.

He’s always been a sensitive soul who needs a lot of closeness - from me in particular - which I usually don’t mind but lately this is starting to grate. Some days it feels like “cuddle mummy” is 50% of what he says, and it is draining constantly having to stop what we're doing to honour his request, or to explain to him why it's not possible to cuddle right now (like, we're in the middle of crossing the road dude).

It’s no surprise he’s in need of a little more TLC right now. He’s recently started nursery, said goodbye to his nanny of 18 months, and has a little sister on the way very soon. This is a lot for a little mind to cope with, and he needs help with that. The other day I made a decision that I would succumb to his every request for cuddles, and let him be the one to decide when he was ready to move onto something else. I recognised that often it’s me who calls an end to the cuddling, perhaps because I need to get on with something else or I just feel like we should be doing something more fun and stimulating for him than sitting in the middle of the floor wrapped in each others’ arms. Quite often I think I’m guilty of projecting onto him what I think he needs, rather than seeing what his needs actually are and meeting him there. This can lead to frustration on both sides as his need never gets wholly met, and the unmet need doesn’t go away. 

So while it’s not easy or possible 100% of the time, I’m making a conscious effort to show up for him in the way he needs me to, rather than how I think he should need me to. On the first day, this ended up with us quietly cuddling most of the afternoon after nursery pickup. In contrast, the next day he came home full of beans and we had a lot of fun playing and being silly together. Every day is a new day. 

Meeting his needs all the time is going to get so much harder in the coming weeks with baby number 2 incoming, but I’ll just have to do my best!